Basura: Let’s investigate those teen vixens in Alabama

Breaking News: Leeanne Tweeden has accused Sen. Al Franken, D-MN, of kissing her in a way she didn’t like and staging a photo of her when she was asleep, with his hands on the chest of her flak jacket (it was a USO Tour, back when he was a comedian).

Franken since has apologized, and Tweeden said that she accepts the apology. Author’s note: This is bad behavior. It is not equivalent to physically assaulting a 14-year old girl and other teens.

Alabama Vixens

(More on Moore)

What’s with these Alabama vixens?

As if it wasn’t bad enough, now more women are saying Roy Moore succumbed to their wiles, when the women were teens. Five little tempresses seemed like too many, but now seven? Nine? In the Bible Belt? What are they putting in the food down there in ‘Bama? Is there something in the grits? These girls are out of control. And make no mistake: it’s all their fault.

What’s a young 32-year-old assistant prosecuting attorney to do? These little honeys prance around in their tight, short, low-cut gear, with that makeup, and prey on vulnerable men barely old enough to control their overactive hormones. Can we really expect a man that age to suppress the natural urges endowed by The Creator when these girls do what they can to make themselves attractive?

Sure, they’re called babes. Or nymphets. But they’re full grown, or at least almost fully grown. They’re very alluring. And they try to be. They sometimes seem to rebuff advances – or give that appearance – while flicking their long, lustrous hair and smiling coyly.

The law says they’re children until they turn 16 (for legal purposes of sexual consent), but they don’t always look like little kids. Many have fallen into this trap. Trust me on this. Nabokov told the story of a lush little cutie pie that was the undoing of Mr. Humbert. Perhaps Moore was too busy studying the Bible to read this cautionary tale. Lolita might have helped sound his alarm bells about the evil wiles of the underage girl.

 When a man is 32, does he really want to keep company with a woman his own age? Maybe earning the same salary? Another lawyer from his office? Talking about boring subjects like legal cases? Perhaps literature? Current events? Of course not.

If one hangs out with girls, though, rather than women, topics for discussion might be much more agreeable, like celebrities, and teachers mean and nice, and fashion, and TV shows, and how cool it must be to get a driver’s license. Really, now, could a 32-year-old woman compete with that?

It’s time to form a Federal Teenaged Vixen Commission (FTVC) to look at the problem. Something needs to be done about these teenaged girls stalking our thirty-something men.

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