Columns

This week’s column is brought to you by letter P

The letter P is so phenomenal.  I mean, have you ever considered all the happy words that have the letter P in them?

My keyboard recently could not perform to it’s perfectionist self.  I had never thought of what a perfectionist my keyboard was until it suddenly kept performing the wrong keystrokes.  I had completely taken my keyboard for granted.

Most prominently, it no longer could type the letter P.

I would type away, my fingers flying over the keyboard with all the things to say when I would come across a P word.

And then I would suddenly remember I can not use the letter P because my screen would shut down or code would suddenly type itself or it would randomly decide to mute the music I was not listening to in the first place.  I would then pine for a thesaurus because I would have to come up with a whole new set of words.

I looked at my old typewriter.  I tried to imagine the perplexed look I would get if I handed in old fashioned typed columns.  But as I have the only computer in our household, I have been perplexed on what to do.

One night I dreamed of a book my dad read to me as child.  I believe it was called “Pickle Things” by Marc Brown.  The book explains all the things that could be a pickle.  I was sad to think I could not type about that pickle book.

The letter P was permeating my life.

Here is an example of my hardship: I have wanted to write a column on blueberry picking.  Did you know that the spell check on computers finds Icking a word?  It is! Icking is some place in Germany.  And it also can mean unjustified criticism.

Well, now you know that bit of information.  May you find a game or crossword where Icking will perform well for you.

I usually could come up with some word to get my meaning across without using the letter P or spell check would be kind and spell the word correctly. I was sure it was just the humid weather wreaking havoc on the computer and it would surely heal itself.  At least that is what I hoped.

This happy thought of my computer fixing itself did not happen.

It would not spell the word Picking.

And what am I going to write about then?  “Blueberry Gathering?”  That sounds like I am attempting to twirl my fancy dressed up self and call out to the blueberries to gather into my bucket like I am some princess in an enchanted blueberry patch.

And so I have been stumped.  The last time my computer worked correctly was when I last sent my columns in to be published for you.  My persistent research on what to do was only perplexing me more.

Until the day I saw a woman wearing a pretty dress waiting for an empty picnic table so she could partake of her dinner with her friends.

“Ma’am,” I gushed, “I love your dress.  It’s perfect for today!”

“Thank you,” she answered, pleased as punch, “I just purchased it.  I found it at Target.”

My husband and I stopped at Target the very next day so I could purchase that pretty summer dress as well.  And oh happy day, I happened to find a guy who knew how to help my perplexing keyboard dilemma.  “Here is a keyboard for ten dollars.  It may just get you by.  You’ll have to do some kind of programming but it may just work.”

It worked.  The first letter I typed was the beautiful letter P.  I cheered.  I ran through the house shouting “I HAVE THE LETTER P!”

Perhaps my family finds me crazy, but if I could hug the letter P today, I promise you I would. What an underrated letter that letter P is. May its purpose in your words perpetuate your speech today.

Oh, how happy I am to be using the letter P again as I plunk away at these $10 keys!

“Blueberry Picking” column coming at you next!

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