Review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

**1/2 Out of five stars

Currently in wide release

by Walter G. Tarrow

Another example of why endless film franchises, like dinosaurs, should become extinct.

There has been a continuing trend in science fiction and fantasy movies and TV for the past couple decades. It’s a sub genre which I refer to as “Wouldn’t it be really cool if…?” or JPS (just plain stupid) cinema. I believe this trend is a result of nerds and comic book fans taking over the SF&F genre.

Greg Berlanti, the producer behind the CW television network’s Arrow, The Flash, and Supergirl, who has been behind some popular TV dramas (Dawson’s Creek, Everwood), is a chief perpetrator of this imbecilic approach to story writing. I can just imagine his inner conversation and then the “brain” (using the term loosely) storming around the “creative” (again using the term loosely) table.

“Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if…?”

No thought to tired old tropes and retread storylines and sequences, illogical, even stupid situations and characters, and insipid dialogue. Just fanatical worship of a franchise with a willingness, even a hunger, to see something, anything of which you are familiar. Nostalgia in its extreme wearing a costume at a comic book convention and spending countless hours online debating the merits, or heatedly condemning the sins the filmmakers make in not staying true to the original versions of plot and characters, and/or offering their own fan interpretations all the while believing their approaches to be superior to those who actually do the work that brings the movie to our screens.

In appeasing, and appealing to, this fan base, and allowing their own inner fans to come out, filmmakers like Berlanti give us childish and lazy products in keeping with the basest of bread and circuses feeding our infantile appetites. An Egg McMuffin instead of a complete breakfast (I can kind of see why John Kelly was displeased) or a Solo: A Star Wars Story instead of an Avengers: Infinity War. Regardless of the budget, or maybe because of the enormity of it, a box office blockbuster doesn’t, at the very least, need to be stupid.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has plenty o’ dinos, but beyond that, little else. The plot is all too worn, the acting so obviously in front of a CGI green screen (if you are in the mood to get really blottoed, try a drinking game where you down a shot every time Chris Pratt strikes his arms out, crouched “I’m facing a dinosaur” CGI pose…hilarious), the dialogue an embarrassment to five year olds, and the entire film rife with physical impossibilities and logical gaffs.

And, rest assured, there WILL be a sequel. One hopeful note though, with JW:FK serving as setup for the next Dino romp, I have higher expectations for the third installment.

But again, ultimately, aren’t we, the filmgoers, to blame? If we keep flocking to the cinemas and sending movies like JW: FK to the Billion Dollar Movie Club, why should we expect anything different?

Maybe we should expect and demand more healthy, yet still definitely tasty choices. If they’re spending millions to make movies, then give us the high quality circuses that are rightfully ours. Why don’t we deserve movies that aren’t by-the-numbers, dumbed down or wastes of time?

We might start to make our wishes known at the box office by seeing a few films that have earned critical acclaim in spite of our disdain for the “Hollywood elites.” That’s why I’m looking forward to seeing the comedy Sorry to Bother You this weekend.

And if they’re going to feed us bread, why not Dave’s Killer Bread?

Yes. That’s product placement. And, yes, I’m getting kickbacks. So please visit http://www.daveskillerbread.com/ and buy their products. Thank you.