When I was first diagnosed with what the doctor referred to as advanced and aggressive cancer, depression set in and I became a victim of the unfairness of life. I stopped exercising, gained weight and was generally depressed. As too many good folks do, I fell into a dark place; family and friends helped and I sincerely appreciate that, but the depression was still there and hard to shake.
While feeling sorry for myself, I was assigned a new doctor who was upbeat, helpful and frank. She explained my disease in great detail and used the electronic imaging of my cancer to outline the battle plan. I felt better and confident, but the depression would not release its iron grip. As the intensity-modulated radiotherapy (IMRT) started, I found myself in a waiting room with others who were battling cancer. Some were looking at adding a few precious months to their lives and were having problems breathing and walking. Some ladies had lost their hair and were very thin with blackened sunken eyes.
At the end of the second week I became ashamed of myself; ambulatory and independent with a 70% chance of a cure, I was so much better off than most of the folks in that room. Depression was replaced with the reality that I needed to stop being a victim and start being the leader I was trained to be. If the good folks in that room were able to smile and laugh, then shame on me for being negative.
The staff at the Cancer Center at Metro Health Village set the tone for us all; they are compassionate, friendly and exceptionally competent.
Depression is a disease not unlike cancer; it grows and metastasizes, not into your organs but into your mind. Depression can cause a general deterioration of our health, physical as well as mental health, and is difficult to diagnose and treat. Please, if you are a caregiver or a patient be aware of depression and seek help.
After waking up to the fact I am no one’s victim, that cancer did not seek me out as it knows no person, it has no free will, I got better. I began exercising and lost some weight, I have stopped being worried about things I can’t control. I now spend my time in the waiting room listening to the folks who are more ill than I; I can’t help much but just talking helps most folks.
My friend and neighbor Anne will have surgery for cancer the 31st of May. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Anne being Anne, she asked the doctors to be more aggressive in treatment rather than less; she is facing cancer with a smile and a positive attitude. It will be a long struggle but if anyone can whip this disease it is Anne.
