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Yes It’s True: Neutral family restrooms is a good idea

“The only thing we have to fear is… fear itself!” — President Franklin D. Roosevelt in his inaugural address in March 1933.

It long has been my opinion that fear can make people do irrational things. And I’ve long held that using fear to manipulate people’s emotions is nothing short of reprehensible.

So let’s go back to 2008 when a then young and unknown politician, Barack Obama, was astonishingly bursting onto the political arena as a serious contender for the U.S. presidency.

Somehow during that year Rolling Stone magazine published a cover drawing of Obama and his wife, Michelle, giving each other fist bump as a means of celebration. The immediate response from right-wing and mainstream media was to spread fear that the Obamas were promoting some sort of “secret handshake” style message that actually was sinister and perhaps even Muslim in nature.

It turned out to be no such thing. Even more interesting is that today the first bump may be even more commonly used than a handshake when two people greet one another. Just watch players, coaches and even referees during introductions before basketball games.

So the fist bump wrongfully was depicted as something sinister when it first burst onto the scene. Somebody back then was trying to use fear to slow down or even stop the Obama Express. The fear-based campaign did get some traction, but eventually it’s since become a hip tradition, used quite often as an alternative to the handshake during the pandemic.

Now comes something that struck me during my most recent trip to Houghton, where son Robby coaches the Michigan Tech cross-country and track teams.

Wife Coleen and I always make a point to stop in for gas in Baraga at a gas station owned by Native Americans and which offers the cheapest petrol in the area.

After filling the tank, I fell a strong call from nature and proceeded to make my way inside to a bathroom. There I found a young man waiting outside the “Men’s Room,” so now I was second in line. Another man quickly arrived after me.

We both noticed the women’s bathroom was not being used, but neither of us could muster the courage to use it because of the traditional American scorn heaped on men who use women’s restrooms. Some even suggest that even in these situations we are revealing disturbing anti-social behavior.

A lot of this stems from recent brouhahas over transgender people using the “inappropriate” bathroom and the accusation that such “perverts” just want to see the opposite sex in compromising positions.

When the guy first in line took his turn, I told the other waiting with me that I was beginning to understand that in many cases using a family restroom would be a better alternative. So if the two restrooms were regarded as gender neutral, at least one of us could get immediate relief and the other would be granted a shorter wait.

I also applaud the City of Wayland for making the two outdoor bathrooms at the Rabbit River Nature Trail “family,” so if I have to eliminate waste after walking the trail, I’m likely to be able to use one of the two facilities available. And both have locks from the inside to avoid the unpleasantness of an unwelcome visitor.

It was saddened a few years ago when then City Manager Tim McLean was hounded by visitors to a car show who insisted the bathrooms be separated by gender. After he gave in to public pressure, he was excoriated in a public meeting not long afterward hastened his departure from this fair burg.

I suppose there can be a good reason for separating gender for use of public lavatories, but I have come to believe designation of family restrooms is a splendid idea for practical reasons.

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