by Robert M. TraxlerLet’s have a national movement to stop the misuse and excessive use of ice in drinks! We Americans more than any other country on the endangered and dying Mother Earth overuse ice in our water and soft drinks.
Travel overseas and you can spot an American when we demand ice in drinks, even cold beer, damned Americans. We use more ice per capita than any other nation. Our disdain for the Earth is rooted in our decadent use of ice. There is no need to drink cold drinks; it is an example our American criminal disregard for the poor, women and minorities.
Do we, as the most advanced nation in world history, use natural ice? No, we do not, we rape Mother Earth and destroy our natural environment by our unnatural and unhealthy use of ice made in energy guzzling refrigerators and ice makers. Ice is all around us in its natural form in Michigan winters, but do we harvest natural ice, that is given to us as a gift from Mother Earth? No! we do not, we plug in our energy guzzling and polluting devices and with and total disregard for the environment and use unnatural and damaging man-made ice.
Are you a part of this crime against the planet? Do you use ice in drinks routinely? Do you drink cold drinks out of an energy guzzling refrigerator? Or worse, a vending machine? Then you are a part of the problem and need to be re-educated or shunned, shame on you.
I have a friend who is an old white male (need I say more) who brags he only likes soda drinks as cold as he can get them. He might as well pick up an assault rifle and shoot Mother Earth in the heart. But what do you expect from an old white man? And he calls himself a liberal environmentalist, go figure.
Refrigerators and freezers use many hundreds of dollars’ worth of energy per year, energy from the bosom of the sacred Earth. Can we stop this crime against nature that is ice in drinks, ice made artificially and in violation of nature’s law? Yes we can, yes we can, we just need to have the national will. The will to save the children, do the right thing, protect the people from themselves, save the whales, protect the Snail Darter and ban the overuse and dangerous use of ice in our drinks.
I am declaring in the TownBroadcast a national emergency and calling for the proletariat to take to the ramparts, light the torches and demand that the criminals who manufacture, use, sell and distribute ice be hauled out and shamed publicly.
If the government cared about the people, they would lead the way and dig root cellars and build ice houses for the people. If they were not all in the pockets of the billionaires in the big ice maker corporations and the big refrigeration lobby, they would.Man-made ice is the greatest threat to the natural environment we have today. We must have a plan to stamp out the use of this ice or the world will end in 12 years. We must have a Manhattan Project-like effort to save the Earth from ice in drinks before it is too late; it may already be too late.
Ice is a greater threat to the world than the atom bomb or soccer moms in SUVs. If you are a true environmentalist, you would denounce ice and drink your beer at room temperature.
If disposable straws can be banned from drinks, why not the ice in them? Sextillions for the environment, not a penny for ice.
Take out my miserable attempt at humor and this could just be posted in the Huffington Post as a serious call for action. Years ago, it was fine to poke fun at the environmentalists, the ‘Naked Gun’ movies being an example. Today it is darn near illegal and it is certainly politically incorrect.
Let me save you the time: I am a horrible person who should be ashamed; no one is allowed to poke fun at environmentalists, or is ice truly an environmental disaster in the making?
AB, your approach at humor will leave many very cold. Which is good, as less ice will be desired and needed. Good job. Liberal environmentalists, Green New Deal-ers and anti-anti-illegal immigrationist such as AOC and others should love your idea. They can be against both ice and ICE at the same time. How energy efficient can you get?
Terry,
Great play on words.
Thank you for the comment.
Army Bob
This has to rate ad the most outstanding piece of humor I’ve ever seen produced from your pen.
Keep up the excellent work
Harry, Thanks for the comment.
Army Bob
I seriously was wondering what you had been drinking at the beginning of your article! But I knew it just didn’t sound like anything you would be writing. While I was worrying about you, I kept on reading. Then I got to the last portion and heaved a sigh of relief. Now I know I don’t have to send you a “Get Well” card. Humor was well done!
Pat.
Thank you kindly.