“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going,
because you might not get there.” — Yogi Berra
Pop singer Iggy Azalea provided some spelling help for her friend Nick Young. Young planned on having a large tattoo put on his upper back, in big block letters reading “BORN REBLE.”  Miss Azalea corrected the spelling of rebel, remarking that Nick was lucky, because she considered having some fun with him, and not mentioning the error.

Many tattoo places encourage prospective customers to “think before you ink,” but that doesn’t always happen. And what if spelling is not a strength? The customer puts the artwork on paper. The tattooist puts it into the skin.

During my time in military service, I saw lots of tatts. Those many years ago, tattoos were not nearly as ubiquitous, and tended to be primarily the province of military men and people working in carnivals. Now they’re fashionable.

Back in the 20th century, during the Vietnam War era, they were not all that common, and I found it interesting to see what some of my fellow Marines would choose as adornments. One notable tattoo I saw on the forearm of another guy in my battalion was a K-Bar knife going through a skull. It had a misspelling, which was brought to mind by the almost-goof on Mr. Young (Nick, that is, not our very own David T. Young). What the Marines’ tatt said was “Death Bfore Dishonor.”

He was not happy after Monday formation when told of the spelling error. He went back to the shop in an irate mood. “Don’t worry,” he was told, “that’s an easy fix, and I’ll do it for free.” He came back to the base, apparently mollified, with the tattoo now reading, “Death B’fore Dishonor.” He seemed OK with it.

There were some standard kinds of tattoos popular with many of the guys. “USMC” was the most frequent, and sometimes with a bulldog wearing a drill instructor’s Smoky Bear hat. One of the odder ones I saw several times featured a young woman, almond-eyed, and with long black hair. She was noticeably busty, with a come-hither look, wearing very little, and carrying an AK rifle. The caption was “Suzy Cong.” I never quite understood that one. I still don’t.

I was acquainted with a guy who had met a girl when stationed stateside. He liked her a lot, he told me, and had her first name tattooed on his forearm. The romance ended. He found a new girlfriend. She felt shortchanged by the presence of a name not her own on her new boyfriend’s arm. So the guy had the tattoo guy put dashes through the first tattoo, and add the new girl’s name.

Young love can be fickle, and that romance also ended after a short while. Of course, as one might predict, girlfriend #3 questioned why he’d thought the other two were important enough to note in such a way, but she wasn’t. By the time I met this guy, he had several names on his forearms, all but one crossed out.

Fun fact: he had one case of a repetition of a name, with the first tattooing of Jane crossed out, with a new name underneath, and then that name crossed out, and Jane re-tatted on his arm. He did have the sensitivity not to make the second one read, “Jane #2.” After all, this was a very romantic guy.

Tattoo removal was primitive then, before laser use. Besides being often disfiguring, it was also very expensive. I once coached little kid baseball with a man who was a dermatologist, back in the ’80s. This guy told me he loved doing tattoo removal.

“Insurance doesn’t cover the procedure. If someone wants laser tattoo removal, he – or she – pays in full up front, whatever it is I think is the right price. There’s not a lot of paperwork or waiting for approvals. I set a price, the patient pays, I do the work. I wish all my practice went like that.”

I’ve written in this column before of the Marine with the bite marks through his fresh new tattoo. Nearly 50 years later, I expect I could recognize that guy by his tatt alone (see: “Town Broadcast, Basura, The Biting Ruination of a Marine’s Tattoo”).

At one point I had an idea that it might be sort of cool to have a tatt. An uncle had an anchor with “USN” above it, from his days in the Navy. I actually considered how fun it might be to get that very same tattoo, and enjoy the perplexed looks on the faces of the Marine sergeants. The consideration of this idea was brief. As was my consideration to have “GVSC” tattooed on my shoulder, to clarify my position of being a civilian in the Marine Corps, one who intended to return to civilian life – with help from the GI Bill, of course.

During my time with Michigan Department of Corrections I saw many tatts on the felons I supervised or for whom I wrote sentencing reports. They tended to be either anti-social or religious, although some guys would work both themes concurrently. I always liked that yin/yang kind of thing. Tattoos can be helpful in law enforcement to aid in identification of those using false names, or even an affiliation, like Latin Kings or Wealthy Street Boys.

One of the things that separates humans from most other species of animal is the desire to enhance one’s appearance. Clothing serves more than as a barrier to the elements; fashion is a huge industry. Apparel, makeup, haircuts, nail care, neckties, fragrances, some aspects of dentistry; they all point to a self-awareness not much present elsewhere in the animal kingdom.

These concerns certainly may fall into the category of mate attraction, and competition to acquire mates, but go far beyond those concerns. Tattoos, too, are indicators of self-awareness, and conscious modification.

Yogi Berra’s sage words are worth repeating –  “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.”

The prospective patron of a tattooist is wise to consider the placement; how might future weight gain or loss effect the aesthetics of the tatt? Would the tiny rose now on the nubile belly of a young woman turn into a big sunflower with a future pregnancy?  Would a gangsta neck tattoo be welcomed by a prospective employer? Did one double check the spelling, or get someone like Miss Iggy Azalea to proofread? Remember, those laser tattoo removals are expensive.