“I thought about praying for a bicycle, but then I realized it didn’t work that way. So I stole a bike, and prayed for forgiveness.”  —  Emo Phillips                    

I thought about this question when, upon arising, I felt some slight soreness in my left ankle. If prayer actually worked, I would ask for a healing. Not a big dramatic event, just a tiny little blessing for my ankle.

I wouldn’t think it would be too much to ask – if Anyone who was actually listening to my thoughts. If Anyone who cared. If Anyone who had superpowers. If Anyone could perform miracles, even little ones, in contravention of the laws of nature. Please, Anyone, make my ankle like the other one. That is, make my left ankle feel as strong as my right one. I don’t want to miscommunicate the request – and have two sore ankles.
Earlier this year, there was a huge lottery win. The jackpot was 1.6 billion dollars. It would be interesting to know if the three individuals that had the winning tickets had prayed for their numbers to be the ones drawn. It also might be interesting to see if other people that had bought tickets, losing tickets, had prayed for their numbers to be drawn.

I suppose if prayer actually worked, there’d be some changes in the world. War no more. Doctors and dentists would all have to retire. But then, perhaps most people would retire. Lots of folks would win lotteries. Fisherman would catch enormous, record book trophy fish. Golfers would card some very nice scores. I might be a professional athlete; surprised?

Do you believe in miracles? Remember that great song by Hot Chocolate, “You Sexy Thing (I Believe in Miracles).” The lyrics, the vocals, the great bass line are all first rate. And it addresses fulfillment of prayer.

“Where did you come from, Angel?
How did you know I’d be the one?
Did you know you’re everything I prayed for?
Did you know, every night and Day for? ”

If prayer worked, it’s hard to imagine how it would all play out in terms of romance. But farmers would be thrilled that rain would come regularly, and in the right amounts. Crops would do well, but grass wouldn’t need to be cut. Droughts — nope. Floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards – nope.

Eight-year-old Steve Faubus could have kept his dog. Steve’s family told him that they needed to get rid of the dog. Their city required dog licenses, and there wasn’t money to spare right then. Steve prayed – religiously – but to no avail. Steve loved the family dog. He prayed for several nights that the dog could stay with the family.

One day his dad, a Christian minister in a poor church, and a good man, told Steve that the dog would have to go, and he’d found a good home for it. The family could not afford the financial costs of dog ownership. Steve’s prayers were fervent, and sincere. He cried bitter tears at the loss. He thought that if God couldn’t be bothered with such a small request, one that meant so much to one little boy, then he couldn’t be bothered with God. The dog had to go. So too did Steve’s religiosity.

If prayers worked, snow would fall on the ski slopes and sledding hills only, except on the 24th of December, where it would fall everywhere, in a modest amount. I could play the piano, without the bother of lessons and practice. Of course, everyone that wanted it would be an accomplished musician without the tedium of practice or the necessity of talent. The women would all be strong, the men would all be good looking, and all of the children would be above average – not just in Lake Woebegone, but everywhere.

Our political choices would be selecting between two highly qualified, capable, compassionate, peace loving individuals. Speeches and debate answers wouldn’t need to be fact checked. The environment would be healed.

Prayer can be beneficial to the one doing the praying. It can offer the effect of reducing anxiety. If there is a Plan, with a Reward at the end of this earthly life, why worry about the small stuff? Prayer can lower blood pressure, ease troubling concerns, and provide exoneration (as in: forgive us our trespasses).

At the same time, it can encourage pro-social behaviors, like some of those boilerplate prohibitions against lying and stealing and adultery and killing. Other traditions, like meditation, found in some Eastern traditions, provide similar calming effect. During the Eisenhower Administration, our US Postal Service canceled postage with the message “Pray for Peace.” That would have been nice, if it had happened.

I might have stayed in Hawaii my full tour of duty. That is, if prayer actually worked.