While Michigan’s roads aren’t getting fixed, here’s what Lansing’s been up to.

Starting with the silly — The Bananarama Bill

Rep. Thomas Hooker (R-77, Byron Township), joined by his social conservative buddies — 9 out of 10 banana owners, including Tea Party Rep. Gary Glenn (R-98) — proposed legislation to make it illegal for public school students to put a condom on a banana, or any other produce of choice. House Bill 4883 amends Public Act 451 of 1976 to prohibit this form of hands-on-learning. From the proposal:

“A person shall not dispense or otherwise distribute, and shall not allow a pupil to practice with, a family planning drug or device in a public school or on public school property.”

And now for the bad

Oh look, it’s HB 4883 again. It seems these same lawmakers also wish to prohibit professional instruction on a basic reproductive right — abortion. A key impetus behind the 1976 law was to provide education on the full array of family planning options available, but conservative lawmakers apparently believe that if we simply don’t discuss it, it will magically go away.

Want to prevent abortion boys? Try practicing putting on condom on something other than a banana.

Finally, the good — aka, bills doomed to Die… except for a few, can you pick the winners?

In order of introduction: (link to bills HERE)

HB 4865 A bill to exempt from sales tax the purchase of back-to-school clothes and supplies.

HB 4866 Bans the use of drones over correctional facilities.

HB 4870 Would prevent law enforcement from setting-up voluntary motor vehicle check points.

HB 4872 & 4873 Adjusts the formula for calculating the School Aid Fund per pupil allotment, allowing districts, including those on the fiscally distressed list, to choose from the current year’s student count or the previous year’s — whichever is greater.

HB 4875 Bans sky lanterns.

HB 4876 Bans flame throwers. (Seriously, who wouldn’t want one of these on occasion?)

HB 4877 Decriminalizes pot. (Flame thrower now extra cool.)

HB 4878 & 4881 Advances renewable energy policies and fair compensation for customer electric generation.

HB 4885 Exempts wrongfully imprisoned individuals from paying state income tax on compensation received.

SB 497 – 499 Requires foster care and adoption agencies who contract with the state to serve all applicants.

SB 501 A bill to render as perfunctory the recognition of foreign-issued drivers licenses. Current law requires the Secretary of State to determine which countries Michigan will recognize.

Some interesting legislation there. No roads bill yet.