‘Liberty’ story helps explain why we have no neighbors

by Denise Dykstra

We were chatting in our driveway recently with some neighbors who had stopped by to pick up some produce from us.  We were leaning against the car, chatting about this and that as neighbors do, and this story was brought up.

This story, although years old now, is still brought up.  “You should put THAT in your column!” they suggested, still laughing over the memory of reading these words.  So here it is, another blast from the past story to share that should bring you a laugh…

We all knew it would be an adjustment moving to town from our 15-acre farmhouse.

All has gone rather well.  I mean, we FINALLY figured out the random music playing in the house is actually the doorbell (true story) and my husband even rigged the music to play Dixie.  It seemed fitting. (The reference of us and the Beverly Hillbillies has been mentioned quite a few times in our move.)

To know my husband is to love him.  And hear him.  The man does not know how to whisper.  He only does loud.  And he does loud loudly.

On the farm, not such a problem.

In town?  Well, I’m all “Hey, honey, not so loud” and he bellows louder, I swear.

Added to all this is Liberty.

The world’s cutest puppy is a bit of a runner.  She doesn’t mean to.  It’s just that everything smells soooooo good and there are so many wonderful people to meet and be petted by.

Liberty is also a full-blooded beagle.  When she sees a rabbit, there is no calling her back.  There is no sweetness to her.  There is just Liberty possessed by the idea of getting herself a rabbit. I knew one day it would all come to a head.

And it did one morning in a way that can only happen to us.

Jake woke early for his day of work and thought he would let Liberty out for her morning pee.  She is the slowest dog in the morning.  She stretches and stretches and eases her way slowly to the door.  This dog is the image of needing coffee every morning.

But just as she finally meandered out the door, there, waiting for her, was one little lone baby bunny.

Jake says he never saw Liberty leap to life like that.

I imagine so because from where I was, all snuggled in bed, I was suddenly jolted awake by my dog baying as only a beagle can do and my husband bellowing as only Jake can do.

At five in the morning, my husband, dressed only in his underwear, was running as fast as he could toward our dog.  I am sure no one looked as he bellowed with all his might, “Liberty!  Liberty!”

Which, let’s face it, Liberty is not a typical name for a dog so it does make a few heads turn.

And when those heads would turn they would see a six-foot-three man running barefoot and nearly bare naked through our yard and into our neighbor’s yard.  They might notice the beagle with ears looking like wings as well, but they may not.

They may be too in shock over the nearly naked man screaming “Liberty!”

Some find it odd that we don’t have neighbors on either side of our house.  In fact, both houses are currently for sale.

It sorta makes sense now, doesn’t it?

As if this story couldn’t be any funnier, I must add this:

I randomly told this story to a friend of mine as we were walking down the sidewalk later that morning.  I was just tossing it out there like, “What are you making for dinner” conversation.  To me this was just a typical morning.

Did you read that?  I just said this is a TYPICAL MORNING.

Anyhow, my friend burst out, “Wait, he ran through the yard yelling Liberty in his underwear?”

Me, clueless, “Yah, I guess so.”

My friend nearly fell down on the ground she was laughing so hard.  Her laughter got me laughing.  She would pull herself together and start laughing again.  “I have to call my husband, you have to tell him this!”  She was laughing so hard she couldn’t even tell the story.

Later that night, she texted my husband. “The neighborhood has gone to pot!  I heard they have some guy running around in his underwear yelling something about peace and liberty! Yikes!”

And this may be why we don’t have any neighbors.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I would like to add that now we do have neighbors.  Also, I will not tell you where we live because I am pretty sure those neighbors have too many stories to share with all of you so we’ll just leave you with this story and hope it brightened your day.