By JeffreyLSalisbury@gmail.com
Posted on https://misterjournalism.wordpress.com/ October 23, 2015
In her classroom, Susan
Cunningham would talk to students about the dangers of unhealthy relationships.
The Plainfield North High School teacher would warn them about abuse. She’d tell them to get out of bad relationships and to look out for their friends. She would speak plainly about her own experiences and encourage students to make good choices.
As students, teachers and friends cope with the news of Cunningham’s killing, they are left wondering how she fell victim to the abuse she warned others about.
Police found Cunningham on Tuesday night stabbed to death in her home. They said her husband of 1 1/2 years, Craig Cunningham, called a relative and confessed to killing her before he jumped in front of a semi on Interstate 55 and was fatally struck.
From a story here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/bolingbrook-plainfield/news/ct-bol-plainfield-police-update-woman-killed-tl-1029-20151022-story.html
10 facts about teen dating violence — teen dating abuse statistics
Girls as young as 11 report incidents of violence and abuse in relationships
From http://womensissues.about.com/od/datingandsex/a/TeenDatingAbuse.htm
The following ten facts are from Choose Respect’s “Get the Facts: Dating Abuse Statistics” and “About Choose Respect: Dating Abuse Fact Sheet”:
- Each year approximately one in four adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
- Approximately one in five adolescents reports being a victim of emotional abuse.
- Approximately one in five high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.
- Dating violence among their peers is reported by 54% of high school students.
- One in three teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been physically hurt by his or her partner through violent actions which included hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, and/or choking.
- Eighty percent of teens believe verbal abuse is a serious issue for their age group.
- Nearly 80% of girls who have been victims of physical abuse in their dating relationships continue to date the abuser.
- Nearly 20% of teen girls who have been in a relationship said that their boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm in the event of a breakup.
- Nearly 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist; the perpetrator was or had been a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.
- The majority of teen dating abuse occurs in the home of one of the partners.
Helping a friend:
Surviving sexual assault, stalking and dating violence can be extremely traumatic. Often, survivors feel very alone and isolated from help, understanding and support. It is important to understand what kinds of things you can do and say to help a friend or family member who is dealing with this type of pain and suffering. Here’s how you can help.
TELL HER…
It’s not your fault.
I’m sorry this happened to you.
You don’t deserve to be abused or assaulted.
You have rights and options.
There is support available for you.
LISTEN: Give your friend your undivided attention as she is talking with you.
BELIEVE: Believe what she tells you. It has taken a great deal of strength and courage for her to tell you.
DO NOT JUDGE: Be careful not to make judgments about the situation she is in or the decisions she has made or appeared to make.
UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE IS SAYING: Devote your efforts to understanding the thoughts, feelings and experiences she has chosen to share with you – not to finding out things you want to know.
BE SUPPORTIVE: Support her feelings as well as her choice to share them with you and acknowledge that it may have been difficult to do so.
REPEAT THAT VIOLENCE, ABUSE OR ASSAULT ARE NOT HER FAULT: It is common for survivors to feel they have done something wrong. Continue to remind her that the violence, abuse or assault was the other person’s choice and that’s where the blame belongs.
SUPPORT HER RIGHT TO MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS: Sometimes we think we know what is best. Remember, she has the right to make her own decisions. Telling her what to do will not be helpful.
PROVIDE RESOURCE INFORMATION: Offer the telephone number of the local domestic violence or sexual assault program. You can also provide the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800)799-SAFE or the Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (800)656-HOPE. Offer to talk to an adult with her.
EDUCATE YOURSELF: Work to understand the dynamics of dating violence, sexual assault and stalking and the available options.
PROTECT HER PRIVACY: She has chosen to tell you. It is not your place to tell others, with the exception of informing a teacher or another adult who will offer help and support. Make sure to do this if your friend is in danger.
Both females and males can be survivors of sexual assault, dating violence and stalking. Studies consistently reveal, however, that survivors of these crimes are more often female and that perpetrators are more often male, which is why on this page we have identified the victim as female and the perpetrator as male. To deny this reality only delays finding a solution. This reference does not change the fact that every survivor – male or female – deserves support, options, resources and safety. You can help and you can make a difference.
http://www.michigan.gov/datingviolence/0,4559,7-233–172641–,00.html
HOTLINES — National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline toll-free: 1-866-331-9474. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE
