One Small Voice: I confess I struggle with being a racist

by Lynn Mandaville

The surest sign a person is racist is when he or she says “I’m not a racist, but…”

However, I have contended for a very long time that everyone is inherently racist, even when he or she has had parents like mine who consciously attempted to never let a racist word escape their lips, lest we kids learn prejudice at their knees.

The real trick in fighting racism is just what my parents did.  Don’t indulge oneself in it.  When a racist thought enters one’s mind, keep it there.  Don’t verbalize it.  Don’t act on it.  Repress, repress, repress.  But if the urge is so great it needs release, at least find a safe place for it, express it to someone who will keep your confidence, and not let the cat out of the bag.

When I was a teenager living in Wayne, NJ, anti-Semitism was rampant in our neck of the woods.  Our mayor was an overt anti-Semite and sowed great division in our city that was, according to Pop’s best estimate at the time, 15% Jewish.  But though the mayor had his disciples, most people we knew who were not Jewish never spoke of a bias.  If they held such views, they didn’t voice them.  Discretion was the watchword of our place and time.  It could be suggested there was perhaps some shame to being anti-Semitic that caused people to hold their tongues.

The same was true of attitudes toward African Americans in that same place and time.  Ours was a lily-white suburb of New York City, and the black population was concentrated in neighboring Paterson.  We didn’t speak of our black biases.  Those were kept secret by most of the people I knew.  Nonetheless, we all had our racist thoughts.  Our deep, dark, secret, racist thoughts.

Hollywood had been mirroring some of the prejudices of those decades.  Two examples are the films Gentleman’s Agreement from 1947, in which Gregory Peck played a writer posing as a Jew to expose the institutional anti-Semitism of the 1940s, and Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner from 1967, in which Sidney Poitier starred to expose an aspect of racism of the 1960s when America was embroiled in the Civil Rights movement.

Clearly, we’ve been “coping” with this unsavory part of our natures for a very long time.

It appears to me that we are living in a time where our president, with his thinly veiled racism, has made it permissible to put one’s biases on display, instead of holding them close to the vest.

The president is not alone in his racism.  We all have it.  It’s just that some people no longer are ashamed of their racism, and choose to wear it on their sleeves.  President Trump, by virtue of his high office, holds a position of prominence that gives a validity to overt racism, so, of course, those who admire Trump strive to emulate him.

This is unfortunate, because some people are less likely to try to temper their feelings.  Some people are less likely to attempt change in their biases.  Fighting one’s urges toward dislike of “the other” is difficult.  It takes a lot of mental effort to alter one’s thoughts and adjust one’s gut feelings.

Hence, we now have a renewed iteration of hatred spewed by some attendees at Trump rallies.  Where once the chants were directed toward one individual (Hillary Clinton), now they are aimed at entire, specific groups of Americans, specifically, Muslims, people of color, and women – all groups that have experienced unfair discrimination.  And though the president would like us to believe he’s not in on it, he is gaslighting us with his sins of omission and his denials that he harbors racist tendencies like the rest of us.

It is clear to me that members of the Republican House and Senate know that racism is not a virtue.  For political reasons they find it expedient to remain silent, or to equivocate, rather than join Democrat members of the House and Senate in decrying the president’s racist remarks.

Some defend the president, saying he is only responding to racist remarks made by The Squad.  And while that is true, two wrongs do not make a right.  The responsibility of a leader (and, yes, The Squad share the responsibility of being leaders) is to rise above the fray, not get down in the dirt with it.  A president of true leadership quality can call out racist remarks without indulging in them himself.  By joining the squabble, Trump gives validity to the name-calling.  He helps feed it.  He encourages us to let the sentiments grow instead of taming them.

Racism is a disease and we are all carriers.

It is up to each of us to attempt to eradicate the disease, and it is the responsibility of our elected leaders – all of them – to show us the way.

I am a racist.  I have the disease.  But like any infection, I will continue to try to rid myself of its horrible effects.

I am a racist, but I won’t wear it with pride.

I am a racist.  It is not a virtue.  It is a vice worth eradicating.