by Lynn Mandaville
For the life of me I can’t find the attribution for a quote I can only paraphrase. I thought it originated with a sports commentator, way back, who blundered by saying something hurtful and embarrassing, and probably racist, on air.
Anyway, the upshot is, don’t ever say anything out loud that you would be ashamed or embarrassed for your mother to hear.
I bring this up with regard to an alleged quote from Kelly Sadler, a White House aide who, when in on a conversation about CIA appointee (now confirmed) Gina Haspel, said it doesn’t matter what (John) McCain thinks, “he’s dying anyway.”
There has been a furor over this incident from two camps. First are the millions outraged that someone would say something so crass and insensitive about an American hero. Second are the few who are outraged that the remark was leaked from the White House.
I’ve read various opinions about this issue. Some are calling for Sadler’s firing for her blatant, vile comment. Others are saying that worse than the comment is the lack of discretion by White House staffers who had leaked the comment in the first place. Then there are those demanding an apology by Sadler, or the president, or both.
This issue does not require rocket science to correct or prevent in the future. It requires nothing more than common decency (which doesn’t seem to be so common anymore).
There seems to be enough evidence that the statement was, indeed, made by Ms. Sadler, in which case she ought to, immediately, declare some regret over her insensitivity and request forgiveness by anyone at all to whom hurt was delivered. Following that, our president ought to echo the regret, and at least lie that he will make sure such a faux pas not happen again. And, finally, the outraged faction demanding immediate firing ought to stop all their noise.
Like it or not, Ms. Sadler enjoys the same freedom of speech we all do as Americans. Certainly she deserves a scolding. She brought at least that upon herself. And by being outed she has to live with her character now being diminished.
What’s the old adage? “It’s better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” She has shown her baser nature. Let her employer take the appropriate action, whether we like that action or not.
Should Ms. Sadler have had a valid assumption of privacy about her comments? Not in today’s political environment. Be one Democrat or Republican, black or white, man or woman, everyone ought to be circumspect about anything he says that might be revealed to the public.
Our words should always be measured, carefully selected, and played through to conclusion in our heads before they leave our mouths. That’s what tact and politeness and diplomacy are all about. That’s why all three are so important to an atmosphere of peace, within a relationship, or a family, or a nation, or the world at large.
It’s only this woman’s opinion that Ms. Sadler was completely careless with her speech (specifically, speaking without a care for it’s impact on anyone else). It is her right to be thoughtless and crass. Her punishment, if there is any, should be appropriate and meted out by the appropriate authority. If she should request forgiveness, those whom she has hurt should consider whether to grant it.
Just one final note.
John McCain is not a fragile, delicate man. He endured far worse at the hands of the North Vietnamese than he did due to this wretched comment. Sen. McCain will emotionally be just fine, as he faces the end of his remarkable life in characteristic dignity.
Regardless, we would all be wise if, before we spoke, we would consider how our mothers might react to the words we utter.