Ranger Rick: Life 101, a good friend, facing the inevitable

It was August when I met him for breakfast. He was nursing a cold and looking tired, even though he said he had a good sleep of at least eight hours. We chatted about our lives over the years, where we were in the sea of life now and what was ahead in the near future.

He invited me to join him and the buddies up at the cottage in September. We parted and he was stooped over as he walked to his car, almost like a guy going to the gallows. He just looked wore out.

In October, I contacted him and spoke of coming to the cottage in later in October. We agreed on a date and I rode up to meet him and the others there — friends and cousins of his I hadn’t seen in years. He told me a little about his recent health revelations and I grew concerned, even though he spoke matter-of-factly what was going on, what tests had been performed, what ones still to be, and hopefully the diagnosis was good.

There is a time in everyone’s life they look in the mirror and ask why him and not me. Why am I so lucky, even though I have a few health problems brought on by easy living and poor choices, overall I’m in pretty good shape. That weekend was a good one, with much time laughing and drinking and laughing some more about stupid stuff we did in high school, after high school and what we did in our careers. It was a good weekend.

Then came the testing news — not so good. A surgery was ahead — one that had consequences, maybe bad, and if not bad, not so good. So goes life.

This guy was a performer — good at baseball, football, golf, wrestling – whatever he tried. He was someone I tried to emulate even though I didn’t have the physical skills he had. I was average, he was exceptional. We always rode to school with an upperclassman in his Chevy, picking up guys on the way to school.

It took 15 minutes to go about a mile and a half with all the talking, laughing, bull sessions, and the driver sucking down cigarettes – he was a senior and didn’t play spring sports so he didn’t care if someone saw him. We had more fun in those 15 minute rides for two years of being driven to school.

A number of our classmates in his class and mine, are now gone; some recently, some years ago, but we still remember and talk about them and the memories are still strong. Stories about sports, walking the halls in high school, what girls we had crushes on, what girls ignored us.

The “Note” figured in a number of the stories. Anyone not from around here years ago, the “Note” was the gathering place for teens to dance and meet others. Sometimes fights broke out amongst the guys thinking they were disrespected or “their” girl had found another guy she liked better.

Back then, everything was straight down the line — sports, sex, girls, guys, alcohol, hot cars. No drugs yet. It was a simpler time, never to be repeated. Vietnam, the service, the draft — all were part of the picture but most people wanted to just go away and we could still have fun and not grow up. How innocent we were.

College, marriage, jobs, working for a living and managing to move forward in careers to make more, have more responsibility, move up the ladder of success. Life. Then you get to the end of a long career, hopefully did well, saved a little for old age and sharing with others. Sometimes marriages turn into divorces, but not many in either of our classes. Must have had good chemistry most of the time.

Then suddenly the older generation is you. You can’t go to Mom and Dad, they are gone. You’re it. I hate having to be the older generation — you’re supposed to be the wise one, the learned one, with experience and knowledge. Overall, I’ve done well in my little part of the world, but I’m not an oracle of wisdom as existed in Greece in ancient times. I’m just a man with a sick friend.

And I don’t know what to tell him to get through this. But I will be by his side as he faces the future. I hope the surgery is successful and he will be over this bump in the road of life. But I’ve known others to face this and some cheated the Grim Reaper and some didn’t. I pray the good Lord will answer my prayers on behalf of my friend and he is healed.

But regardless how it finally turns out, the earth will go on revolving and the sun will come up in the morning. If there’s one thing I’ve learned — life goes on, it’s just a little less meaningful. Age does that to a person, does it to all of us.

I asked him what he would have changed in his life knowing what he does now. He looked me straight in the eye and said “Not a damn thing, I’ve had a good life and if the good Lord sees fit he needs me, so be it, I can’t complain.”

Just like being ready to take the football field, I look up to my friend and see a man I’m proud to call my friend.