ACHTUNG: This is not a “fair and balanced” story. It is an editorial by the editor.

Have the Dorr Contras regained their chops and renewed their quest to control Dorr Township politics? Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear defecate in the woods? Could switching to Geiko really save you on car insurance?

The Dorr Contras Gang, the bunch that six years ago engineered a failed and expensive recall of Dorr Township Board members, the folks who made former Supervisor Tammy VanHaitsma miserable enough to cause her to resign, the group that nearly captured a majority on the board with the election or appointment of four members it supported, seemed to be back in the saddle again Thursday night at the most recent Township Board meeting.

It was like a reunion. It was like the Phoenix arising out of the ashes. Sitting in the audience were former Township Trustee Patty Senneker, her partner in crime Bernie Schumaker and former deputy clerk and parks commissioner Christine Schwartz. Sitting on the board with apparent fondness for the positions of these Contras were Trustees John Tuinstra and Terri Rios and Clerk Debbie Sewers.

I was wrong when I thought the Contras had faded into obscurity after launching a fascinating but treacherous and disturbing chapter of Dorr Township history. They were successful in getting the obstructionist Tuinstra and Senneker elected to the board in 2012 and the seemingly sympathetic, but inexperienced Brian Boot to win the clerk’s seat. And when VanHaitsma abruptly resigned her seat, they thought they had found their man in Jeff Miling to succeed her. Schwartz was deputy clerk and chair of the parks commission.

But, as fate would have it, Miling and Boot went in a direction different than the one orchestrated by Herr Schumaker. They seemed to do a little critical thinking and began to join the likes of Josh Otto and Dan Weber in voting rationally. Then, after Janice Saunders quit as treasurer, they still had a chance with the appointment of Jim Martin, but he turned out to side most of the time with the new majority.

What followed consistently was a succession of 5-2 votes, with Senneker and Tuinstra doing heroic minority battles on behalf of the obstructionist Contras. Their efforts slowed the wheels of government, conducting business down to a crawl at times, and too many meetings featured lengthy debates on matters as important as how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

Tuinstra and Senneker both tried their hand at unseating Miling in the elections of 2014 and 2016, but they failed miserably. Schumaker somehow was no longer appearing at meetings with his videotaping unit. So once again, I thought the Contras had been consigned to the dust bin of history. I was wrong.

Sewers and Rios have shown strong indications they are political allies of Senneker, and their behavior at board meetings thus far has smelled strongly of obstructionism. They have sought and succeeded in delaying action such as paying the assessor what she’s actually owed for her extra work. They tried to derail a request from maintenance worker Jerrod Simon for more timely holiday pay, but a 5-2 majority prevailed.

A seemingly innocuous and routine appointment of Boot as a mere alternate on the Board of Review was politically charged in a 4-3 vote, with Tuinstra, Sewers and Rios dissenting, mostly for personal reasons.

The meeting Thursday evening dragged on to nearly 10 o’clock, a three-hour marathon race that didn’t need to be. So all the memories came flooding back to those awful, tedious and lengthy sessions that produced not much more than hot air. Too often they did not produce solutions to problems.

Tuinstra himself singled-handedly delayed the project of bringing down the barns, silo and farm house of the old Graczyk property along 142nd Avenue because he wanted to turn it into a farm petting zoo. All his “heroic” actions did was forestall the inevitable, reworking that land into an expanded park.

But the Contras appear to be back. At least they are showing up at Dorr Township meetings, some of them as members of the audience and some of them as members of the board. I suppose I should rejoice because it affords me good and interesting news copy. But it also makes bad government.