by Denise Dykstra
“How is writing about war going to have anything to do with joy, Mama?” my 17-year-old son asked me as I tried to type out this post.
There is joy here. But it took me quite a few days and some soul searching to find it. Oftentimes, it is that joy that is the most precious. When the journey is dark and hard, it’s then that joy becomes even more precious. Even more worth finding.
I am not doing well with speaking about the war Russia is waging on Ukraine right now. It breaks my heart.
And yet, it is often what my youngest two boys and I are discussing right now. It is what my husband is watching on the news, but I can not be in the same room as those news broadcasts. With so many lives in danger, I can not handle the angry discussions—fighting over who is most right, and who is most wrong.
I don’t keep my head in the sand. I have been reading my news. I check the feed of Coffee or Die magazine numerous times a day to see what news has posted. I appreciate their no drama approach to what is happening as well as their sense of humor in it all. Humor in war?
They have pulled it off in a way that is also very honorable.
Crazy, but true.
Why am I such a mess about this war? Why is my head so jumbled up that I can barely write this? Why would I even bring this up at all?
Because my heart is so full for so many that I had to say something.
I have been talking to other moms, and we are all checking in on each other because when you love someone who is in the military, we check in. Good times or bad, we moms keep checking in. Times that are more stressful have us saying more lines like, “Sending a big hug” and “Praying for you,” among many other words.
I have “kids” all over the world. I realize they are not kids. They are grown men and women who swore to protect this country. But to me, they are still “my kids.” They themselves have created a family that is beyond anything anyone non-military can understand. And I say that from the perspective of someone outside the military looking in on the family they have created.
I am thankful for what they have, and I understand it in part, but not in full. It’s a depth in brotherhood/sisterhood that I can not find the words for. And I doubt they could find the words for such a feeling they have as a family as well.
I have a bond with military moms. Some I have met and hugged. Some I have sat at their kitchen tables with. Some I have never met and I may not ever meet. But I am praying for them and their children. They are praying for me and my children. What a gift this is.
We are not fighting this war. We are over here watching or reading the news and cheering big for Ukraine while we pray for them constantly.
I see these photos emerging from the battles, and I can’t help but see the faces of those I love. One photo in particular made me gasp out loud. It was so eerily similar to the boys’ faces I knew.
All war stories have hit differently for me these past years. Now, when war rages in countries other than ours, it hits my heart differently as well.
In Ukraine, they fight for freedom. Citizens are fighting for their country. There are those who are military trained, and those who are not, and all are fighting with their whole heart and entire being. In Russia, there are military members being sent to fight a war and have left behind those who love them as well. And all these loved people are showing up to kill each other.
It breaks my heart.
I am not saying that evil should not be stopped. It’s not that at all. Evil should be stopped, and these amazing Ukrainians are, well, truly amazing.
So, as my son has asked me, ““How is writing about war going to have anything to do with joy?”
Because I have had the honor of loving so many, and I have had the gift that they have had an impact on my life.
That is the joy.
I can not speak about this war without choking up. Just as I can not watch the news but instead read it — I had to write some words on it all, even if I could not say them out loud. I don’t know if this rambling mess of words will make much sense, but I had to attempt to honor those I love and those who love someone in harm’s way.
Will you join me in praying for Ukraine to keep their strength and for all those who love someone who may now be fighting this distant war?
