Yes It Is, It’s True: Helicopter parents could ruin athletics

“What mighty contests arise from trivial things.” — Alexander Pope

Many Townbroadcast readers know my son, Robby, a 2003 Wayland High School graduate, is head varsity cross-country and track coach at Rampart High School in Colorado Springs.

He’s had a successful run, with five consecutive conference championships in boys’ cross and his girls’ teams have improved enough to qualify for the state meet in two of the last three seasons.

So I sometimes continue to ask Rob, “What do you like best and least about coaching?”

Best, he said, are his relationships with his student-athletes when they overcome obstacles, meet goals and are successful. Least, he said without hesitation, are helicopter parents.

For those unfamiliar with “helicopter parents,” the phrase describes normally decent, rational intelligent people until it comes to the welfare of their child-athletes. Somehow, these customarily good folks can turn into monsters when their children compete in soccer, football, basketball, softball or even cross country.

I’ve watched such animals in action throughout my sports writing career. I once saw an Ypsilanti Willow Run parent run out onto the court and strike a referee after a loss in basketball. I’ve heard horror stories about Little League parents who get into fights and assault umpires. I’ve seen fathers who collar their sons coming out of the locker room to tell them what to do in the second half of a basketball game.

Perhaps the greatest damage helicopter parents inflict is on coaches, who these days are getting so hard to find that the old common practice of coaches being teachers as well is becoming more and more rare. Coaching, just like teaching, is getting to be a difficult profession because too many who are watching what you’re doing think they can do it better and they know what’s best for their “special child.”

Pittsburgh Pirates Manager Danny Murtaugh once was reported to have quipped that he’d love to have the greatest and smartest player ever to join his team, but the guy wouldn’t put his beer down and come onto the field.

I speak not of parents who faithfully attend nearly every game and cheer for their sons and daughters and their teammates. I do speak of parents who live their lives vicariously through the exploits of their kids and think about what’s best for their offspring individually rather than what’s best for the team.

The problem really is an ancient one, but its severity has increased because of the hypercompetitive athletic arena that pervades modern society. Many observers correctly assert we spectators care a lot more about the fortunes of the football or basketball teams than we do the quality of education at the local schools.

The media, unfortunately, has fed this diseased thinking by overhyping athletic contests and developments and underhyping academic achievements. When I saw the paltry number of viewers for last week’s story about Wayland’s conference championship in debate, I wondered how much interest there would have been if these kids in the photos were athletes.

I’m sure some coaches aren’t really up to the job or they have flaws that make them less effective than they need to be. Most I’ve known love the game and care about their players, but they probably don’t satisfy their vocal critics, who want results in the win column.

If we keep this up, the illogical conclusion is that some day we won’t have anybody who wants to coach.