“No man, woman or child is safe as long as the State Legislature is in session.” — Tweaking quotes attributed to Mark Twain and Gideon Tucker.

I apologize most sincerely to Townbroadcast readers for having a naive understanding of the Michigan Legislature’s “new and improved” fireworks law, passed late last year by lame duck Gov. Rick Snyder and the House and Senate.

When the news first came out, I was led to believe that the number of days common everyday people are permitted to launch noisy and disruptive fireworks each year in residential areas had been reduced from 30 to 12. I now have to plead guilty to not reading the fine print.

The number indeed has been reduced, but there’s a catch.

These lovers of noise this year legally can start launching their mischief and mayhem all over Michigan every day from June 29 through July 5. Furthermore, if local communities want to reduce the number of days consumer grade fireworks are permitted, they must adopt local ordinances that cannot be more strict, but can match state rules.

The previous regulations, which were bad enough because they allowed the pesky devices on the day before, day of and day after 10 holidays during the year.

Now they are legal statewide from June 29 to July 5 until 11:45 p.m. each evening. The other five permitted dates for 2019 include New Year’s Eve and the Saturday and Sunday of Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend.

Even worse, the new laws insist local units of government can’t prohibit fireworks on any day unless they adopt their own ordinances.

According a story published last week on MLive.com, if local governments have not passed local ordinances for fireworks, state law allows them to be used all year long.

State Fire Marshal Kevin Sehlmeyer said in a statement, “Simply put, if there is no local ordinance restricting fireworks, then there are no local fireworks restrictions in your municipality.”

I suppose state legislators will maintain they were thinking about local control with this rule. But they are forcing local governments to take the time and spend the money to avoid having to put up with fireworks every day of the year. Let’s make local government jump through more hoops and spend money.

This new law was touted as a common sense easing of the disruption, nuisances and noises, but it was a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing. It was a pit bull with lipstick, with sincere apologies to pit bulls.

I have been hoodwinked. I have been flim-flammed. I pride myself in not falling for slick political hooey and I have believed I have a strong B.S. detector. This time my assets failed me.

As Republican Congressman Edward Hutchinson said in August 1974, just before the resignation of President Richard M. Nixon, “I have been deceived.”

It was my understanding not long ago that a poll of Michigan residents determined that a majority would rather have fireworks regulated like the way they were in the good old days. If that’s true, it doesn’t matter. This wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last, that our boys and girls in Lansing have callously acted against the will of the people.